Writing Wrongs

November 05, 2005

Iím in the middle of some serious writing avoidance. True, I have written about 600 words today, which is actually pretty pathetic considering the amount of time Iíve spent at the computer. But I simply had to download those songs from iTunes, then I had to update all the iTunes/iPod software, and well, other stuff.

But back to this particular writing avoidance. Bob brought this picture to my attention a few weeks back. ďWhatís wrong with this?Ē he asked.

Ask an easier question, why donít you? But why donít you be the judge:

There is so much that is wrong, from the white tie, to the fact his costume contains more material but costs less than hers, to the fact hers probably doubles as the saucy French maid outfit, to the fact sheís carrying--for reasons unknown--a riding crop. But Bob had an issue with the actual words, or rather, one in particular:

Gangster mole?

Iím pretty sure they didnít mean this:

mole n. Any of various spicy sauces of Mexican origin, usually having a base of onion, chilies, nuts or seeds, and unsweetened chocolate and served with meat or poultry.

Hmm. That sounds pretty good. Likewise with this:

mole n. A small congenital growth on the human skin, usually slightly raised and dark and sometimes hairy, especially a pigmented nevus.

Sometimes hairy? Big collective eeeew.

But perhaps the marketing department was confused and meant this:

mole n. A spy who operates from within an organization, especially a double agent operating against his or her own government from within its intelligence establishment.

I spent six years in Military Intelligence. No one ever dressed like that. To my knowledge.

Of course, the word they were looking for is:

moll n. A woman companion of a gunman or gangster.

Note to the marketing department: See that Websterís on the shelf over there? Itís your friend. Use it. Especially if your job involves publishing words. Of course, none of this explains the riding crop.

Riding crop n. a short whip with a thong at the end and a handle for opening gates

And if any of you have any theories, please, keep them to yourselves.

Charity Tahmaseb wrote at 3:18 p.m.