Writing Wrongs

December 30, 2005

So I took a couple of writing classes this year. Both were . . . okay. I got something from each, but in the final assessment, I was under-whelmed by the lecture materials and the instructor feedback. If I�m paying money for instructor feedback, I want feedback, darn it. Not knee-jerk regurgitations about adverbs. I already know about the evils of adverbs. Honestly.

I�ve considered a low-residency MFA program. Sort of. I always scroll down to the part about cost. These things run $5,000 per semester. Excuse me? What do I get for $5,000 per semester? That really isn�t clear. In general, an MFA in writing will set you back $30,000 as far as I can tell. For that kind of money, I�d expect John Updike, Kurt Vonnegut, and Jane Smiley at my door, all set for some literary butt kicking.

And really, $30,000 is too much to pay for what can sometimes amount to nothing but serious navel gazing.

But I need something. I like taking classes, always have. It lets me silence the internal critic that says I�m not learning enough, studying enough, doing anything enough when it comes to writing. So this year I�ve decided to construct my own writing program.

I�m going to use Master Class in Fiction Writing: Techniques from Austen, Hemingway, and Other Greats. Why pay $30,000 when you can fork over twelve bucks? That�s what I always say. Actually, it was a Christmas present (I made out like a bandit, no?), and I can borrow the novels that go along with it from the library. So essentially, it�s free. (Insert evil laughter here, evil, adverb-tinged laughter.)

I also received Spunk & Bite: A writer's guide to punchier, more engaging language & style. I like this if only for the snarky title. In essence, I�m going for style and substance.

The biggest hurdle is, of course, follow-through. When you�re in a class, you have assignment deadlines. On the other hand, I�m already a self-starter when it comes to writing.

And if I ever need to kick my own butt (in lieu of Vonnegut, Updike, and Smiley), all I need to do is think of that $5,000 per semester.

Charity Tahmaseb wrote at 1:10 p.m.

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