Writing Wrongs

March 03, 2006

So I didn’t blog for a couple of days, hoping to channel some of those words into actual writing words. But I was fighting a tremendous amount of reluctance this week. I kept wrestling with the notion that something about the end of my novel was “off.”

This morning on the way back from driving the kids to school, Closing Time was on the radio and the notion hit me. Part of me simply didn’t want to finish The Boys’ Club. And I got all misty-eyed.

I swear, I am such a dork. I get to go back and revise and edit, so it’s not a final goodbye. But damn, I’ve spent nearly two years working on this book, thinking about it every day. That’s going to be hard to give up.

So it’s not so much that the ending was wrong. I simply didn’t want it to end.

Period.

So back at home, I write the second to the last scene. I take a break to work out and get a phone call. The company where I was contracting has just extended an offer for a fulltime position. And yeah, it was an offer I couldn’t refuse.

I end up back at the computer. I have a lead in for the final scene, always a good thing. I write. Check email. I write a few mores lines and have a pressing need to make tea. I write and decide the dogs need fresh water. Because part of me still does not want to finish the book.

But I do. At last. I type the last lines. They may not end up being the last lines, but for now, they’ll do. And then I double space and type The End even though it’s kind of cheesy. But it’s something I always do.

And then it’s time to get the kids (all that sporadic typing and dog-dish filling). In the car, I play U2’s Walk On and try not to cry, because I don’t want to seal my status as a complete dork.

So after nearly two years, a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, a fair number of people telling me what I “should” write and “couldn’t” write for this book, and 133,795 words later, I finally have a complete draft of The Boys’ Club.

It doesn’t get any better than this. Or worse.

Because part of me still wishes I wasn’t finished.

Charity Tahmaseb wrote at 8:23 p.m.

|