Writing Wrongs

November 01, 2006

Define humor: In one of the many grab bags from the Halloween parties the kids attended, Kyra found a skeleton hand. Okay, a plastic skeleton hand, not real one. That would be, to quote Kyra, “so gwoss.”

So she was sitting on one of the tall kitchen chairs, skeleton hand behind her back, and said, “Oh, Mommy! Daddy got you a pretty princess.” Me, feigning surprise, “He did?” I was urged to take a closer look.

Of course, the moment I did, Kyra whipped out the skeleton hand and got the expected, appropriate response.

The problem with the expected, appropriate response is, when one is four, one keeps wanting to see the expected, appropriate response. So I crept up on Andrew and “scared” him with the skeleton hand (he appreciated the break from homework). Then we trooped downstairs to scare Daddy.

Only this time, the enticement was: “Daddy, we have a new laptop for you!” (Ha. Does she know her father or what?) Daddy was, as expected, scared.

Define gallantry: Yesterday, the fifth grade class (well, those who had handed in all their work) went to the roller-skating rink. Fifth and sixth graders don’t get to take part in the costumes and Halloween parade, and this was compensation for that.

So. Andrew went loaded down with money from his piggybank. Because the real deal is all the games, prizes, toys, and other whatnot, although he said he did do about twenty laps on the rink.

He also managed to collect a stuffed animal from one of those crane/claw things (you know, the kind where they pack in the prizes so no one can win). And, he used some of his own money to buy his sister a Care Bear.

Of course, he made certain to tell the person working the cash register that he’d like, “A Care Bear for my sister, please.” We wouldn’t want any confusion about that. Then, he secreted it into his coat pocket, back to school, navigated the bus ride to daycare, all without anyone knowing he had it.

Because there is no worse fate for a ten-year-old boy than having your peers discover a Care Bear on your person. He presented the Care Bear to Kyra with much flourish and received the expected, appropriate response.

He’s a regular James Bond.

Charity Tahmaseb wrote at 12:57 p.m.