Writing Wrongs

July 09, 2007

Kyra and I have a new mommy/daughter activity: chick flicks. It started with Music and Lyrics, a rather mild Hugh Grant vehicle that is nevertheless rated PG-13. After fending Kyra off (cuz you never know when that PG-13 content might rear its ugly head), I gave in and let her sit on my lap, especially after Bob said there really was nothing content-wise to worry about.

On the plus side, the movie does meet the �everything is better when someone takes a swing at Hugh Grant� rule. It doesn�t come close to the gold standard of Bridget Jones�s Diary, where Colin Firth beats the living snot out of Hugh Grant, to the tune of It�s Raining Men. But then, what could? That�s why it�s the gold standard. On the minus side we have not the alleged PG-13 content (I�m still trying to figure out what that was), but the made-up 80s pop hit that is a rather effective earworm.

Anyway, this experiment was a rousing success and the next movie on our list was To Catch a Thief. Kyra thought Grace Kelly had very pretty eyes, and she enjoyed the dresses. Unfortunately, she fell asleep before the masquerade ball, where Grace wears this number:




Gratuitous inclusion of Cary Grant completely intentional.

But maybe it�s just as well, since Kyra�s at that impressionable age. That gold number, as a future prom dress, could be a little spendy.

This led to our third movie together, in which I introduce Kyra to Shakespeare, in the form of Kenneth Branagh�s Much Ado about Nothing. This is also a movie that�s rated PG-13. For the life I me, I couldn�t remember why. I even went looking before I fired it up, but nada. Nothing. Since I couldn�t remember, I figured it couldn�t be that bad.

About five minutes in, I had a highly visual reminder. The men return from war, and before the big celebration, everyone takes a bath. Or rather, everyone gets naked and takes a bath. So the reason Much Ado about Nothing is PG-13?

Naked Shakespearean Butts.

And that�s it.

Now, naked butts are a high form of humor in our house. Kyra even called out to Andrew (who was busy doing something non-chick flick oriented): �Andrew, hurry! Naked butts!�

It was the highlight of the movie.

Let�s compare this PG-13 to other PG-13�s out there:

Transformers: PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, brief sexual humor and language.

Live Free or Die Hard: PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, language and a brief sexual situation.

Does this seem right to you? We screen movies carefully for age-appropriate content. What Andrew can watch, Kyra often can�t. I mean, Bob is going to take Andrew to Transformers, but not the Die Hard flick, and Kyra isn�t seeing either. But how do you screen these things when someone out there considers Naked Shakespearean Butts PG-13?

As you may have guessed, we are so not bothered by the NSB (I am so getting Google hits on �Naked Shakespearean Butts� searches). What�s more disturbing? Non-stop violence or a few flashes of Kenneth Branagh�s rear end? Wait. Maybe I should rephrase that question.

So, what have we learned? Cary Grant = good. Hugh Grant = good, as long as gratuitous violence is involved. Naked Shakespearean Butts = a grand form of mother/daughter bonding.

Charity Tahmaseb wrote at 10:15 a.m.

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