Writing Wrongs

July 09, 2007

Kyra and I have a new mommy/daughter activity: chick flicks. It started with Music and Lyrics, a rather mild Hugh Grant vehicle that is nevertheless rated PG-13. After fending Kyra off (cuz you never know when that PG-13 content might rear its ugly head), I gave in and let her sit on my lap, especially after Bob said there really was nothing content-wise to worry about.

On the plus side, the movie does meet the ďeverything is better when someone takes a swing at Hugh GrantĒ rule. It doesnít come close to the gold standard of Bridget Jonesís Diary, where Colin Firth beats the living snot out of Hugh Grant, to the tune of Itís Raining Men. But then, what could? Thatís why itís the gold standard. On the minus side we have not the alleged PG-13 content (Iím still trying to figure out what that was), but the made-up 80s pop hit that is a rather effective earworm.

Anyway, this experiment was a rousing success and the next movie on our list was To Catch a Thief. Kyra thought Grace Kelly had very pretty eyes, and she enjoyed the dresses. Unfortunately, she fell asleep before the masquerade ball, where Grace wears this number:

Gratuitous inclusion of Cary Grant completely intentional.

But maybe itís just as well, since Kyraís at that impressionable age. That gold number, as a future prom dress, could be a little spendy.

This led to our third movie together, in which I introduce Kyra to Shakespeare, in the form of Kenneth Branaghís Much Ado about Nothing. This is also a movie thatís rated PG-13. For the life I me, I couldnít remember why. I even went looking before I fired it up, but nada. Nothing. Since I couldnít remember, I figured it couldnít be that bad.

About five minutes in, I had a highly visual reminder. The men return from war, and before the big celebration, everyone takes a bath. Or rather, everyone gets naked and takes a bath. So the reason Much Ado about Nothing is PG-13?

Naked Shakespearean Butts.

And thatís it.

Now, naked butts are a high form of humor in our house. Kyra even called out to Andrew (who was busy doing something non-chick flick oriented): ďAndrew, hurry! Naked butts!Ē

It was the highlight of the movie.

Letís compare this PG-13 to other PG-13ís out there:

Transformers: PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, brief sexual humor and language.

Live Free or Die Hard: PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, language and a brief sexual situation.

Does this seem right to you? We screen movies carefully for age-appropriate content. What Andrew can watch, Kyra often canít. I mean, Bob is going to take Andrew to Transformers, but not the Die Hard flick, and Kyra isnít seeing either. But how do you screen these things when someone out there considers Naked Shakespearean Butts PG-13?

As you may have guessed, we are so not bothered by the NSB (I am so getting Google hits on ďNaked Shakespearean ButtsĒ searches). Whatís more disturbing? Non-stop violence or a few flashes of Kenneth Branaghís rear end? Wait. Maybe I should rephrase that question.

So, what have we learned? Cary Grant = good. Hugh Grant = good, as long as gratuitous violence is involved. Naked Shakespearean Butts = a grand form of mother/daughter bonding.

Charity Tahmaseb wrote at 10:15 a.m.